


Somewhere Else

by KaRaEa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Author knows nothing about science or neurology beyond pop culture, Fix It, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17341418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaRaEa/pseuds/KaRaEa
Summary: After a night of sleep he only got through sheer grief and exhaustion, Steve wakes up...not where he went to sleep....Steve turns over feeling warmer than he has since the ice. Something inside him has felt like it's never thawed out, and usually when he wakes up it's either in cold sweats or feeling like he used to in his old Brooklyn apartment in the middle of winter when the heating gave out. So the warmth is a novelty.It takes him several moments of slowly coming around in a cocoon of heat and comfort and what feels like it must have been actually decent sleep, before he realises the source of the warmth is lying next to him and not his own trapped body heat in the covers. His eyes flicker open, a confused frown already creasing his sleep lax face.Brown tousled hair and the top of someone's shoulder.Steve sits up and leans over to see the person's face, then promptly freezes.It's Tony.





	Somewhere Else

Steve turns over feeling warmer than he has since the ice. Something inside him has felt like it's never thawed out, and usually when he wakes up it's either in cold sweats or feeling like he used to in his old Brooklyn apartment in the middle of winter when the heating gave out. So the warmth is a novelty. 

It takes him several moments of slowly coming around in a cocoon of heat and comfort and what feels like it must have been actually decent sleep, before he realises the source of the warmth is lying next to him and not his own trapped body heat in the covers. His eyes flicker open, a confused frown already creasing his sleep lax face.

Brown tousled hair and the top of someone's shoulder.

Steve sits up and leans over to see the person's face, then promptly freezes.

It's Tony.

Tony's in his bed, or rather, he's in Tony's bed. He doesn't even recognise the room he's in. How did this happen? How is it possible? He went to bed in Wakanda, worn out from grief and fighting and the utter devastation of having lost. Thanos won.

So how is he here?

"Stark?" He asks in a voice more rough from the sudden overwhelming grief and shame he feels than the lingering sleep in his system.

Tony grumbles and burrows further into the covers without waking.

"Tony?" Steve takes a breath and runs his hand through his hair. It's shorter than he remembers. He hesitantly lets his hand drop to his face. His beard's gone, too. "What the hell is going on?" He mutters to himself.

"Is everything alright, Captain Stark?" 

Steve flinches and looks around, expecting to see the Vision in a corner of the room or something.

"You are in the mansion. The date is the 26th of April, 2018," the voice comes again. 

"Jay, shuttup," Tony mumbles. 

"Stark?"

Tony opens his eyes at last, though the squint they open into barely classes as open. "You talking to me?" 

"Who else would I be talking to?"

"Fuck should I know? You're the one sat up in bed at," Tony rolls to glance at the bedside alarm, "half four in the morning, calling me Stark and acting like a weirdo."

"What's going on?" Steve demands to know.

"I repeat: Fuck should I know?" Tony says, looking cranky now. 

Steve focuses on breathing, on remembering where he should be, what he was doing the last he remembered. "How did I get here?"

"Physically or existentially?" Tony asks.

"Physically, in this room, in this building, with... you," Steve says. "I was in Wakanda. The last I knew you were missing. Rhodes said you were in space."

Tony scrubs at his face and tries to sit up, ending up propped up against the headboard looking only mildly more awake than he was a minute ago. "Honey. we haven't been in space in weeks. We haven't been to Wakanda for a little while either. And clearly I am not missing, I am right here, just like I was last night and the night before."

Steve pulls a face and carefully ignores the majority of what Tony just said until he can make more sense of it. "Honey?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "Whataya want from me? I'm still half asleep here. My pet names are not going to be up to my usual stellar standards. Now, why don't you tell me why we're even half awake right now?"

Steve stares at him helplessly, unable to verbalise exactly what's going on, the horror of waking up in a world he doesn't recognise for the second time striking him dumb.

"Steve?" Tony sits up fully, meeting Steve's panicked gaze head on. "Hey, it's okay, we're fine. Everybody's fine. You're safe. Whatever it is, we'll deal, okay?"

"Where's Bucky?" Steve asks, unable to face responding to Tony's sudden kindness, especially given the strangeness of the situation.

"At the hospital. He's fine. He's good. You saw him yesterday, remember?" Tony says gently. His face is getting more and more drawn with concern, the lines around his eyes tightening as he searches Steve's face for evidence of what's wrong.

"The hospital, why's he in the hospital?" Steve asks, though any reason for hospitalisation has to be better than what actually happened. Every time Steve gets Bucky back he loses him again.

"JARVIS, can we get a scan on Steve?" Tony asks without taking his eyes off Steve.

"Captain Stark's blood pressure and pulse are elevated, but within safe parameters. Scanning for additional information now," JARVIS replies. And of course it was JARVIS. Steve should have connected that dot sooner, but it's been so long since he heard JARVIS' voice. 

Steve doesn't even ask about 'Captain Stark'. If he asks any more questions about the strangeness of this place he won't be able to stop, and right now thinks the priority is answering three major questions: Where is he, how did he get here, and how can he get back? And JARVIS scanning him might help answer at least one or two of those questions.

"Scan complete. Captain Stark is in perfect health. No abnormalities detected," JARVIS says after a moment. "Would sirs like me to start the coffee machine?"

Tony sighs. "I guess you'd better." He climbs out of bed, revealing that he's wearing nothing but a pair of red silk briefs, and grabs a robe from inside the wardrobe. "I'm sorry, but I need coffee before I try to deal with," he waves his hand at Steve vaguely, "this. But I will be back and I will be a supportive husband and everything once I'm caffeinated, I swear. Do you want one?"

Steve nods dumbly, forcing his thoughts away from the word 'husband' and what it implies. Once Tony's out of the room, Steve gets out of the bed himself and digs around until he finds a t-shirt he recognises as his own along with a pair of joggers in his size. He glances to the window, which is either tinted black or is showing an unusually late sunrise for this time of year. "JARVIS? Could you scan the, um, the mansion?"

"What would you like me to scan for?"

"Anything out of the ordinary now or within the last twelve hours," Steve replies. 

JARVIS is just giving him the results of the scan, a whopping no abnormalities on that front too, when Tony returns, handing Steve a cup of coffee and climbing back onto the bed. 

"I think I'm in the wrong world," Steve says, because as much as he doesn't really trust Tony these days, if anyone can help him figure out what's going on it'll be Tony.

Tony blinks.

"I went to sleep last night in Wakanda and woke up here. I don't even know where here is," Steve starts. "I have no idea why we were in bed together, or why Bucky is in hospital, or why JARVIS is here calling me 'Captain Stark', but I do know this isn't where I'm supposed to be. It must be the reality stone, or magic or something."

"Okay, I'm thinking memory loss might be a more logical explanation," Tony says, then holds up a quelling hand when Steve opens his mouth to protest. "I'm not dismissing the idea, and we'll look into it. But we're also going to the doctors in the morning, or I guess later in the morning, to get you a proper CT scan and the opinion of a professional. But right now, JARVIS says you're healthy enough and no one is going to appreciate being woken up by our shit at this time of night yet again, so how about we get back in bed and try to get some more rest before then, okay? JARVIS will monitor you, make sure nothing goes any further south."

"You just made coffee," Steve points out stupidly.

Tony takes a swig of said beverage. "It doesn't affect you, and I'm so addicted by now this amount is more likely to send me back to sleep than to keep me awake."

"How are we going to look into it?" Steve asks.

Tony shrugs. "I'll give Strange and Richards each a call. If they can't help, I'll call Foster and Thor and ask them if they think it's Aether related."

"I don't know who half those people are," Steve admits. "What about Wanda?"

"The Maximoff kid? You think she's behind this?" Tony frowns.

"Behind it? No, of course not! I meant she might know something."

"I guess? I mean, no stone unturned and all, but lets save that plan for a last resort, right up there with giving Asgard a call and asking to chat to Loki," Tony says.

"What? Why?"

"Because we don't generally ask for help from people who tried to kill us?" Tony says slowly. "If you want to go down that road then I'll be honest, it does give us a lot more options, but I'm not sure if they're the kind of options we want."

"But-"

"Let's just get some rest, get you in to get your head examined, and I'll make some calls while you're in with the doctor, okay?" Tony cuts him off. "I know whatever this is has gotta be terrifying, but I'm not entirely convinced you're not having the super soldier equivalent to a night terror or something. Maybe it'll all be better in the morning."

"Why the hell do you want to go to sleep? This is serious! Stark, I need to get back where I'm supposed to be, not go for a nap with you," Steve snaps, thrown by Tony's cavalier attitude. The guy just got told his husband doesn't know why or when they got married, anyone else would already be on their way to the hospital.

"Because this isn't exactly the first time we've done this, Steve," Tony says. "I had that head injury where I lost two months of memory, you had that spell put on you that made you think you were back in the forties, and those are just in the last year. Not to mention the nightmares. I get that it's serious, and I get that you're scared, but half of the stuff we've been through that's anything like this wore off after a couple of hours. We know you're healthy, we know we're safe. Maybe we should just wait it out a little while before we start panicking."

Steve narrows his eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"

Tony winces. "I already called Helen Cho while I was getting coffee. She's on her way, but she won't be in the city for another couple of hours, and she's the only SHIELD goon I trust, doctor or no. She told me to get you to calm down and rest until she gets here."

"And you don't believe me that I'm in the wrong place," Steve says.

"It's not that I don't believe you, I just think we should wait for Helen before we go calling in the cavalry." Tony climbs back into bed. "And I wasn't lying about waiting it out."

"I'm not getting into bed with you," Steve says.

"Fine. Then we'll just stay like this all tense and worried against the doctor's orders," Tony grumbles, but he doesn't seem surprised.

"The Tony I know would be spouting theories on alternate universes by now," Steve says and realises it's true. The Tony from back home probably wouldn't have even thought of calling the doctor first.

Another wince. "You'll forgive me if the thought that you're some other Steve and my husband is who knows where out there in the cosmos and probably every bit as scared and weirded out as you but without me there with him is a scenario I'd rather not dwell on until we've ruled out the alternative. Besides," Tony adds. "Helen's a geneticist with medical and neurological training. If anyone can figure out if you're original flavour Steve or not, it's her."

"I don't understand why you're not doing something," Steve pushes. "If your Steve is really out there somewhere then don't you want to get him back as quickly as possible?"

"You're not listening!" Tony snaps. "I don't think you are some other Steve. I don't think he is lost out there somewhere. We've not had a battle or an encounter with a weird object in over a month! A month, Steve! Whatever is going on with you I want it fixed every bit as much as you do, but Strange is a Doctor, a neurosurgeon actually. He'd tell me to get you examined first anyway and send him the scans. Richards would probably want the same thing before he did anything, and I'm not too keen on bringing him in as it is. I told you I'll call them and I will, but we're doing this first."

"God, I wondered why this world's version of me would marry you," Steve replies with all the venom he can muster. "I thought 'maybe this version of Tony is better, maybe they work well together'. I guess it'll remain a mystery."

"We do work well together, you ass," Tony grumbles but surprisingly doesn't rise to the bait. Instead he drains his coffee and gets back out of bed. "Clearly keeping you calm and rested is a no go. Do what you want, but I'm restricting you to the mansion until we get you checked out. I'll be in the workshop."

 

Steve spends the time milling about the mansion trying to orient himself. He finds the kitchen, a couple of bathrooms, a number of spare bedrooms and rooms he can't even guess at the function of. By the time he's grabbed a bowl of cereal and found the gym, JARVIS tells him Dr. Cho is in the city and will be ready for him at SHIELD medical within thirty minutes.

Tony meets him by the entrance, somehow having got dressed without returning to the bedroom to do so and dangling car keys from his fingers. "Let's go."

The car is less flashy than most of those Steve's seen Tony drive, but still undoubtedly expensive. The interior still smells new, and the seat heats around Steve while the air conditioning keeps a fresh breeze around his face.

SHIELD medical looks the same as ever, as does Dr. Cho when she guides him to an examination room, Tony trailing behind. After a brief physical and a set of questions not dissimilar to those the medical staff had asked him when he'd first come out of the ice, Dr. Cho leads them into a room with a CT machine and directs Steve into it.

It's claustrophobic as always, the noise and the small space and not being allowed to move, but it's over relatively quickly.

There's a man Steve recognises from the news talking with Tony and Dr. Cho when Steve gets up to the shielded room where Dr. Cho is looking over the scan.

"Dr. Strange," Steve greets, glancing at Tony, who is squinting at the scan like he actually knows what he's looking at.

"Captain," Strange replies shortly, before going back to his conversation with Cho.

Steve moves closer to Tony. "You called him."

Tony doesn't look away from the scan. "I told you I would. I also told you he'd want to see the scans."

"And what do the scans say?" 

Tony looks at Cho and Strange. "Inconclusive."

Cho stops her conversation with Strange for a moment. "Given that you don't remember your relationship with Tony, we can gauge that your altered memories go back at least five or six years," she says. "But if you were a different person who'd lived those years differently then we'd expect to see a degree of difference from the last scan you had, and that difference just isn't there. Or at least, not to a conclusive degree. But then if something were interfering with your memory recall, we'd expect to see that when asking you recall questions during the scan, and that also didn't occur. Your brain lights up just the same as it would without any memory impairments."

"There are other tests Dr. Cho can perform, and I myself would like to examine your aura," Strange says.

"My what now?"

"Your aura, your chi, your katra, your lifeforce," Strange says. "I've encountered Captain Stark's before and I should be able to detect any differences."

Tony pulls a face but doesn't say anything.

"We may as well use everything at our disposal," Strange says and turns to Tony. "Bring him to the sanctum when Dr. Cho has finished her examination." With that he strides out, cloak swirling behind him in a way that it shouldn't be able to do in a small, windless space.

After that Steve spends nearly two hours being poked and prodded and asked questions that have nothing discernible to do with the situation but that Dr. Cho seems oddly interested in. She finishes at last, or rather Tony asks her if the other stuff she wants to do is relevant to the situation and not the serum and she doesn't answer so Tony grabs Steve by the elbow and tows him out of the buildling. Steve would shake him off, but he's more than happy to go.

They don't head for the 'sanctum' wherever that is, instead heading for a burger joint where they hide in a booth in the back where no one seems inclined to bother them.

It's technically still mid-morning, but they both order burgers and fries and nothing is said while they wait or while they eat.

Tony's clearing a blob of ketchup from his bottom lip when Steve finally gets out of his head enough to ask, "How did this, us, happen?"

Tony barely pauses in reaching for his coke. "I dunno. I guess some combination of opposites attract and my stunning charm and charisma."

Steve, as he has been doing for the past forty minutes, thinks about the Tony he remembers. Thinks about Pepper and Sharon, about the Accords and Bucky and Zemo, Ultron and Tony's parents, and can't wrap his head around the idea that in this world Tony and Steve had come through that as a married couple. "Are we happy?"

A shrug. "Most of the time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve asks.

"It means we're not a perfect couple. We fight, probably more than we should, there are weeks where we barely see each other with my work and your... stuff. I don't take enough interest in your interests, you get too annoyed at my commitments and the time I spend in the lab," Tony shrugs again. "But we're happy for the most part. We make it work."

"How?"

Tony takes a long slurp of his drink, staring at Steve the whole while. He releases the straw and swallows. "Why don't you tell me what we're like in your memories or world or whatever?"

The very idea of describing the mess that's been the last six years makes Steve's mouth dry. "I'd rather hear about this world."

Tony raises his eyebrows but doesn't argue. "Alright. Anything you want to know about besides how you could ever make the mistake of marrying me?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Steve protests, but it's half hearted at best and Tony's face remains unconvinced. "What about Bucky? You said he's in hospital."

"Yeah," Tony nods. "Voluntary treatment for PTSD and brainwashing. He's doing okay. You visit a few times a week when there's not a mission."

"And you're okay with that?"

"What am I going to do? Try to stop you?" Tony scoffs. "It'd be pointless even trying, but I wouldn't anyway. The guy's been through a lot."

Steve hesitates. "What about your parents?"

Tony's expression closes off. "What about them?"

"Did he... Did he still..."

"Murder them? Yeah," Tony answers the question Steve can't quite ask. "But after extensive therapy and repeated nagging from my husband I've come to terms with the fact that it wasn't his fault. We even spent Thanksgiving at the hospital with him last year."

That's... a little mind boggling honestly. The thought of Tony and Bucky sharing the holiday, Tony agreeing to go in to see Bucky, forgiving him for what happened... Steve honestly can't wrap his head around it. "And Ross just let that happen?"

"Last I checked, Ross doesn't have any say over our holiday plans," Tony says, then hold up a hand when Steve goes to correct him. "Or Bucky's right to healthcare. Not since we booted him off the Accords."

"How did we boot him off the accords?" Steve asks.

"I mean, when the Avengers are unanimous and get the Winter Soldier to voluntarily surrender himself, it pulls a lot of weight. Not to mention Ross's piss poor management of the Zemo situation," Tony says. "If you hadn't already told me about my parents months before Zemo's stupid plan, who knows what might've happened? The guy was trying to bust up the Avengers and Ross was practically complicit!"

"I told you months before," Steve says, monotone. He looks up. "We were unanimous?"

"About wanting Ross gone? You bet your ass we were. Bruce managed to dig up all kinds of dirt for us that we wouldn't have even known to look for. It's a wonder he ever got to be put in charge of the Accords in the first place," Tony fumes, clearly not over this world's version of events. "I bet he would've celebrated if Zemo had won. Stupid prick."

He'd told Tony about his parents, Bruce was still around, Ross was off the Accords, Bucky was in hospital... 

"You okay?" Tony asks.

"Yeah," Steve says faintly. "Yeah, I'm just... Processing. Things happened a lot differently where I'm from."

Tony seems to fight very hard not to pull a face when Steve says 'where I'm from', and he almost manages it. "How'd it go down for you?"

Steve grimaces. "Worse. A lot worse."

Tony nods. "Zemo won?"

"Yeah."

"And yet you wanna go back there?"

"It's home," Steve says, though he's got to admit, the temptations of this world are great. Bucky's alive and doing well, Steve's not a fugitive, the Avengers never split up, Ross isn't a problem anymore. And what does he have waiting for him back home? 

Tony shakes his head. "Whatever."

"You still don't believe me, do you?" Steve asks, though it isn't really a question.

"It's not that I don't believe you. I really do think you've got this whole other version of events in your head, that you honestly don't think this is where you belong. And who knows? Maybe you're right. But from what I've heard so far, the stuff you remember differently is all worst case scenario. All the things you were afraid could've happened, all the nightmares you wake up sweaty and shivering from," Tony says. "We're not together, Zemo won, Ross is still on the Accords. And I'm betting if I ask you what happened to Bucky in your world it isn't going to be a happy story."

Steve doesn't answer.

"So, yeah. My money's on your brain tricking you into thinking all the worst case scenarios have happened. Maybe Loki got involved, or some other bad guy, or maybe it's just a weird side effect of serum enhanced PTSD. I don't know. But if 'your world' is real, then surely you should be able to think of at least a couple of things that were better there," Tony says.

Steve thinks about it. Sure, they got Wanda and Vision on the team, but they're gone now anyway. He got to know Scott but he's not sure that didn't happen here as well, and he really wasn't fond enough of the guy to call that necessarily 'better'.  He doesn't want to be married to Tony, but apparently this world's version of him is happy with the guy, and really, isn't it better than being at war with him?

"I get it, I do," Tony says as Steve slowly realises that he can't think of a single thing that was better back home. "I still get nightmares about being stuck in space, or Thanos winning, or Maximoff trapping me in my own head forever more. They feel so real that when I wake up I have to have JARVIS tell me where and when I am. But they're just nightmares."

"You had Thanos here too?" Steve asks. "How did you beat him?"

"Wait, is there a single battle you remember actually winning?" Tony asks incredulously. "Did New York get levelled by Loki and the Chitauri? Did Ultron blow up Sokovia? What about that time we got a group of genuine R.O.U.S? Did they claim Central Park as their own?" He stops at the expression on Steve's face and sighs. "Sorry. Look, I don't know what we did differently to how you remember it so I can't tell you how we won. We were on a dead planet, we got the gauntlet through some grade A team work, Hulk smashed Thanos and we all went home. It was an epic battle and half the galaxy's superheroes turned up to help. You had to punch one of them out when he freaked over his girlfriend's untimely demise."

"Banner and I were in space with you?" Steve asks, because that has to be it. The team never broke up. Bruce never left. Of course he and Steve would have found a way to get on that ship with Tony. And if they'd all been together when they faced Thanos... He has a horrible thought. If this Tony still went to space and ended up facing Thanos while he was there, then surely that means the Tony from back home also faced Thanos? And given the fact Thanos then came to Earth and got the last stone, then that means Tony lost, and if Tony lost then he's probably dead. Alone on some dead planet, rotting away in his suit, not even surviving long enough to be turned to ash by Thanos' purge.

"Well, 'your world' is just sounding better and better by the minute," Tony quips. "If you're right and my husband is back where you came from then I'm going to have to deal with years worth of night terrors and hourly check ins when I get him back."

Steve looks at the man in front of him and imagines what it must be like to be the other Steve, to live this life and know it's his. "You said you've been married two years. How long have you been in a relationship with... other Steve?"

Tony pulls out his phone and fiddles with it a moment. He slides it across the table to Steve. "Since you came back from your tour of twenty-first century America. It took awhile before things got serious, but that's when we started."

Steve picks up the phone, a picture of Steve and Tony sat together inside a giant doughnut open on the screen. Tony's in the Iron Man armour which explains how they got up there, and both of them are laughing as Steve holds out the camera for the picture.

"Your first selfie, I believe," Tony says, shaking his head. "A whole road trip across the United States and not one selfie. I consider that to be the moment you truly became a part of the twenty-first century."

"Why are we in a giant doughnut?" Steve can't help but ask.

"Oh, that." Tony takes the phone back. "It's one of my favourite spots to eat out in public. You're inaccessible enough to avoid the crowds, you don't have to dress up, and it never fails to get that vein in Fury's head pumping."

"So that was a date?" Steve questions doubtfully.

Tony grins. "Baby, that was the best date of your life, and if you don't get back to normal soon then we're going to do it again to refresh your memory."

Steve doesn't even try to argue, either about it not being him that did it the first time or about not wanting to do it. He gets the impression Tony might forget about it if he lets it slide. "Was it our first date?"

"Depends what you count as a date," Tony says, and the eyebrow wiggle he gives prevents Steve from asking what other events might have qualified.

 

After lunch they head over to see Strange again and have one of the most surreal meetings of Steve's life, which considering his track record is impressive. After so few formalities that Steve's still wearing his jacket, Strange touches two fingers to his chest and the world goes wonky. When he turns around he can see himself slowly falling over.

"Hmm," says Strange.

"What-?" Steve starts, eyes tracking Strange's movements as he walks away from...himself.

"We're in astral form," Strange says with a hand wave that says he doesn't feel it necessary to explain further. "Your hair is longer."

Steve reaches up to feel the truth of the statement. Lowering the touch over his face finds the beard back in place as well. 

Strange circles him, scrutinising him. He finishes up back in front of Steve. "There are differences. But if you are indeed from a parallel world, it must be one incredibly close to this one. Have you had any previous experience of inter-dimensional travel?"

"Not really," Steve admits. "But I know this isn't where I'm from. I think the differences start after the Battle of New York. Or a little after. When I came back after travelling."

"You mean, when you started dating Tony," Strange says with a quirk of the lips. "Odd that that should be the base of the branching timelines."

"How do you know that's when I started dating Tony?" Steve asks.

Strange rolls his eyes. "Everyone knows when you started dating Tony. It was a top news story for months. Impressive when we'd only recently had an alien invasion."

"Maybe that wasn't the start of it, maybe it's just one of the symptoms. I don't know much of what happened in this timeline, for all I know it could have been something that happened while I was travelling, or even when I was still in the ice." Steve shrugs helplessly. "It could take forever to work out what the first difference really was."

"True," Strange concedes. "Or maybe who you sleep with really does have that much impact on the world." He seems amused by the idea. "Or maybe you didn't really go anywhere, and this is where you've always been. Altering your mind would certainly be easier than transporting you to another reality."

"Why would anyone want to do that?"

"Why would they want to send you to another reality?"

Steve couldn't think of an argument against that. 

"You should think about it. If you can figure out a 'why', you might be able to figure out a 'who' or a 'what' or possibly even a 'how'," Strange says, walking back to his body. 

A moment later and Steve is back in his body. Or rather the body of the Steve from this world. "Is that it?"

Strange raises an eyebrow. "You wanted something more impressive?"

That wasn't what Steve meant, but he has a feeling Strange knows that. "You can't do anything more than that?"

"There a lot of things I can do, Captain Stark," Strange says, eyeing Steve's uncomfortable shift at the name with interest. "Whether or not they'd be helpful is another matter. You're welcome to join us for meditation, you'd be surprised what kind of stuff that can dig up."

"Why did you ask me here?" Steve asks. Surely the astral form thing could have been done back at the hospital?

"I can see more clearly here. Fewer distractions. Not to mention if there had been anything more I could do for you, the majority of it would have been done here," Strange says. "That and you were the only Avenger who hadn't paid me a visit here yet." He grins. "I do like to finish collections."

Steve shakes his head. He's sure there's something the sorcerer isn't telling him. "I guess I'll get going then."

"Just remember," Strange calls out as he leaves. "Sometimes the 'why' is just as important as the 'how'."

 

A petulant part of him wanted to ignore everything Strange had said, annoyed that the man had virtually promised answers and then given none. But the question of why someone would do something like this to him was a valid one. It seems highly unlikely that any of this is an accident. But how could this possibly benefit anyone?

Is it a punishment? Showing him a life he can never have, where the people he cares about are safe and happy? Is it a distraction? To keep him off the playing field where he can't help his friends and his world? Or maybe it's about the other Steve, maybe he's the one being punished by being sent to the world Steve came from and they just traded places. It would make an effective punishment going by his conversation with this world's Tony.

 

He goes to visit Bucky. How could he not?

The hospital is nice and neat and clean and nothing like the horror stories Steve's always heard about mental hospitals. The room the orderly shows him to is quiet and peaceful and smells a little of lemon floor cleaner. There's comfy furniture and a TV mounted on the wall. 

Bucky joins him not long after, dressed in soft clothes, with his hair loose around his face but clean and neat and healthy looking in a way Steve hasn't seen it in forever. He's not as skinny as last time Steve saw him in Wakanda either, not gaunt or sallow or tired looking.

Steve pulls him into a hug as soon as he's within arm's reach, and Bucky responds in kind with a chuckle. "Miss me already big guy?"

Steve sniffles. 

"Woah, hey. Stevie, what's wrong?" Bucky asks, hands, both metal and flesh, rubbing up and down Steve's back soothingly. "Has something happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Steve says, not liking the note of worry in Bucky's voice. "Nothing's happened."

"It it Tony? Did you guys have a fight or somethin'?" Bucky asks. The way he says it, it doesn't sound like it'd be the first time.

"Do we fight that much?" Steve asks.

Bucky shrugs, loose and relaxed, a smile tugging at his lips. 

Steve shakes his head. He doesn't want to think about that. "How are you doing?"

Bucky fixes him with a look that says he knows Steve is holding something back, but he lets it slide for now. "I'm doing good. The, uh, the new meds seem to help with the sleeping thing. Finally found a dose that doesn't wear off before I've even hit the pillow. Got nine hours last night. Feels like I'm brand new."

"That's good, Buck. I'm glad to hear it," Steve says softly. He knows the Bucky from back home hadn't got more than an hour at a stretch since he broke his programming. He never got the chance to figure out a way to sleep through the night.

"You?" Bucky asks. "The nightmares been giving you grief again?" He eyes Steve closely as he responds, checking for the lie.

"A little," Steve admits. "Not too much."

"Yeah, well, I guess that's what happens when you've got a gorgeous husband to snuggle up to at night," Bucky teases. "Must be real good at keeping the bad dreams away."

Steve's smile is brittle and he knows Bucky sees it, even though he doesn't acknowledge it.

"So, much happened since your last visit?" Bucky asks when silence descends. "You rescued any more orphans? Tony revolutionised any new fields?"

"Not that I know of," Steve says. 

"You gonna help me out here? It's kinda difficult to have a conversation, just me asking questions and you giving short answers," Bucky says on a sigh. "You don't have to talk about what's bugging you if you don't want to, but you do have to talk about somethin'."

"Yeah, sorry," Steve says, and starts up a conversation about a trashy show he watched that morning. It's nice, and relaxed. And it's more of Bucky than he's seen since the train.

 

"What if it is a memory thing, but I never get the right memories back?" Steve asks while Tony dishes out a meal Tony apparently learned to cook from his husband. He's been thinking about that. Not because he thinks it's true, but because he wants to know how this Tony would react to that. 

Tony pauses and goes tense, but his gaze is steady and reassuring when it connects with Steve's. "Then I'd just have to 50 First Dates this shit."

Steve frowns and opens his mouth.

Tony rolls his eyes. "I'm not sure why I thought you'd get that reference. Nevermind."

"I'm serious, Tony. What if you never get your Steve back?"

There's a moment where Steve thinks Tony isn't going to answer, that he'll just avoid it and sweep right past it, then Tony rubs a hand over his mouth and steps in close. "If you really are from another world, then we will get you back there and get my husband back. And if you aren't, if you're my husband then I've got to believe that I'll get my Steve back. Even if you don't remember. Even if I've got to somehow make you fall for me all over again, even if we have to start from scratch. Hell, even if this whole thing repeats the second I do and I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you that you want to be married to me. I don't give up on stuff that matters."

Steve is the one to drop their locked gaze at last, unable to bear the look of determination and devotion in Tony's eyes. He really does love this world's Steve.

"Steve," Tony says, leaning in, trying to get eye contact again. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not... I'm not expecting you to be on board with this, us, when you don't remember any of it. I know things are rough the way you remember them. We'll go slow. I'll remind you why we're together, but I won't push."

 

True to his word, Tony spends the next two weeks dragging Steve into home cooked meals, trips to the movies, a walk around Central Park, a trip to a coffee shop in Brooklyn that this world's Steve liked, and to anywhere and anything that might trigger Steve's supposedly missing memories. Tonight they were going out for dinner.

From pulling up outside the restaurant to sitting at their table, Steve was questioning whether this Tony really knew his husband, but the second the server who took their order (something in French that despite his rough fluency, Steve wasn't quite sure of beyond something that sounded suspiciously like 'gateau') leaves Tony turns sparkling eyes on him. "Don't give me that look. I swear, this place does your favourite food ever."

Steve looks around doubtfully. "Are you sure you know what my favourite food is?"

"Absolutely," Tony affirms. "But having forgotten this place even exists, I don't think you know what your favourite food is."

"That's..."

"Trust me," Tony says, before Steve can figure out whether he most wants to address Tony's arrogance or the fact he didn't 'forget', he's just never been here.

The dish arrives a short time later, and Steve has his suspicions about how fast their order was completed but isn't about to complain. The sooner he can get out of here the better.

He looks at the plate in front of him. "Dessert?"

"Mhmm," Tony replies. "Ridiculously decadent dessert that this restaurant does spectacularly well. Try some."

Steve looks back at the soft cake-like dish in front of him. Maybe it is a cake?

"It's basically a gateau," Tony enlightens him, confirming Steve's suspicions and his earlier attempt at deciphering the name. "Just a very expensive one that happens to be the head chef's signature dish."

It does smell good. Steve spears a bite, uncomfortable at the gleeful attention Tony pays him while he raises the mouthful to his lips. The second it touches his tongue he decides the whole ordeal is worth it. If this restaurant still exists back home, he's going to sneak back into the US and voluntarily dress in a suit so he can eat this again.

"Told ya," Tony says with a wide grin. "Was that not worth the trauma of putting on a tie?"

Steve glares at him but can't bring himself to divert too much attention from the taste of the dessert in his mouth. It seems such a waste to swallow. The little attention he does spare is caught up on the fondness and happiness on Tony's face as he more or less ignores his own dessert to watch Steve enjoy his. By the time Steve finishes his dessert, Tony's eaten less than half of his. Despite the lessons drummed into him by his own and Bucky's mothers both, he can't quite summon the willpower to stop staring hungrily at Tony's serving.

"Finished already?" Tony asks, a teasing glint in his eye. "I would offer you some of mine... but it's just so damn good, you know?"

Steve has no rational explanation for what happens next. He goes from staring at Tony's food, to watching him raise a bite to his mouth, to staring at a small glob of chocolate on Tony's lip, to sucking the chocolate off Tony's lip so fast he suspects the cake is literally magic rather than just tasting that way. Tony's mouth is warm and tastes of the dessert mixed with just a dash of the sherry Tony's been sipping since they sat down. He kisses back without pause, seemingly unsurprised by this turn of events, though in all fairness, from his perspective as a guy who thinks Steve is his husband, it's probably not all that shocking. For Steve it's life changing. Because he likes it. A lot. The way Tony's lips are just the right level of firm, the way he moves his tongue, the way Tony's bottom lip feels between his teeth, the feel of Tony's pulse beating fast and strong beneath the fingers Steve cups around his neck.

His world's Tony would never trust Steve's hand around his neck, no matter how gentle or affectionately placed.

That thought sends Steve back into his chair.

"Wow," Tony says. "If I'd have known all it'd take to get our love life back up and running was fancy chocolate cake..." he trails off at the expression on Steve's face.

"I'm sorry," Steve says. 

Tony shakes his head and spears another bite of dessert. "It's fine. Sure, you got my hopes up a little there, but I got to make out with Captain America, a person doesn't complain about that."

Steve doesn't reply, unable to process his own feelings on the matter, let alone Tony's. 

"Hey, we can order more dessert. I'm pretty sure they'll even let us take it to go if we ask nicely," Tony suggests with a grin that makes Steve relax despite himself. "We can ditch the ties and eat it at home in front of the TV."

"Sure," Steve replies. It's hard to say no to Tony when he has that smile on his face, even though right now Steve would rather crawl off somewhere to panic over what he just did. It hurts a little to think that he's only found that out since being in this world. Tony back home never smiled like that.

 

They fall asleep on the sofa, both still in their suits but minus the ties, the take out they picked up on the way home sits half-eaten on the coffee table and JARVIS lets the late night infomercials play while they sleep.

Steve wakes up from a bad dream to find a cheery woman on the TV talking about a workout DVD, Tony curled into his right side, warm and heavy and a perfect counterpoint to the nightmare-memory of waking up in that not quite right hospital room all alone. Clint once asked him if he ever dreamt of the ice. He doesn't. He dreams of the train, the plane, Redskull, waking up all alone in a new century, the battle of New York on occasion. But not the ice. Not explicitly. He just wakes up feeling cold.

Tony stirs as Steve shifts and breathes heavy from the terror of his nightmare. "Y'kay?" He murmurs, not moving his face from it's position squashed into Steve's shoulder.

"I'm fine," Steve says, but his voice is tight and breathless.

"'Nother nightmare?" Tony asks, gradually coming around. He shifts closer instead of away as he wakes. 

Steve nods.

"C'mere." Tony sits up straight and pulls Steve in so he's the one on Tony's shoulder. Steve doesn't resist. "Wanna tell me what flavour it was?"

"The hospital," Steve admits, though he has no idea if Tony will know what he's talking about. He doesn't know how he feels about the way Tony's holding him. It's awkward being held like he matters by a man who he remembers as hating him. But it feels good too. Warm and solid and a perfect way to assuage the feeling of being alone. He wonders if Tony knows that. If he's done it for his husband before now, if the other Steve has these nightmares too.

Tony squeezes him. "Sucks. Wanna watch a movie or go to bed?"

Steve thinks it over. He's tired and really doesn't feel like watching a movie, but on the other hand the thought of going to bed on his own and leaving behind the only comfort he has isn't appealing.

Tony leans back a little to look at his face. "Or whatever. Doesn't have to be one of those two options. We could play a video game, or go spar in the gym for a while, or, I dunno. We could go clubbing I guess, but that's more of a me coping strategy than a you coping strategy. Or maybe... Okay, I'm tired and believe me when I use that as my excuse, but I'm out of ideas."

Steve can't help the small smile that gets from him. When did Tony start making him smile instead of frown? "I don't know. I just... I don't want to be alone right now."

"Okay. That's a good start," Tony says. "Do you want me to call Tasha or Bruce or someone to come hang out? Or you good with just me?"

"Just you is fine," Steve says and means it. He wishes he could have Bucky there too, but Bucky is where he needs to be and Steve isn't selfish enough to really want that to change. "Can we... I don't want you to take this the wrong way, I'm not... I just don't want to be alone, it's not..."

"Hey, it's okay," Tony reassures him when he can't get the words out. "Whatever you need."

"Can we go to bed together?" Steve asks, then clarifies, "just to sleep."

Tony's arms tightens back up around him. "Of course."

Steve doesn't try to correct him when Tony leads him to the bed this version's Steve shares with his husband.

 

He's been in this world for three weeks and he's no closer to proving that this isn't his world. Every test, whether medical, scientific or mystical, comes back at best inconclusive, at worst hinting towards it being a case of shifted memories, not a shifted world. It's frustrating and terrifying and... honestly a little tantalising. He wants to go home, he does. He needs to fix things there. But there's no one left back home who'd be working on bringing him back, and everyone here is leaning further and further away from Steve's claims. His chances of getting home are slim. And stepping out of the mental health unit for the third time in a week, having just had lunch with a Bucky who is not only physically healthy, but getting there mentally, too, makes it difficult to remember that this isn't his Bucky, that he needs to go home. 

Tony's waiting for him in a car that looks like the kind of thing Steve always sneered at, but is so comfortable to sit in that Steve really can't find it in himself to complain, or even dredge up another 'overcompensating' joke.

"Hey," Steve greets as he slides into the passenger seat. If he'd known cars could be like this, he might have actually been tempted to get his license. 

"Old Buckeroo doing okay?" Tony asks. He pulls away from the curb and joins the mild after lunch traffic. The question actually sounds genuine, as it always does from this Tony.

Steve nods. "Yeah, he's doing good. The new meds are still working."

"Cool. Remind me to send a thank you note to Bruce," Tony says.

Steve frowns. "Bruce?"

"Yeah, you know, for the meds," Tony says. He looks at Steve and sighs. "Right. Memory. The meds were Bruce's idea. Something he and Betty worked on a couple years ago as a potential Hulk inhibitor."

"Oh."

"You really aren't used to the team being an actual team, are you?" Tony asks. It doesn't sound sharp or accusatory, more sympathetic. "If you don't get your memories back, remind me to dig out the 'family album'. You'll get a kick out of it, I'm sure. All the best team moments, both in and out of battle."

"Can I see it anyway?" Steve asks.

Tony shrugs. "Sure. We'll go over it when we get home if you want."

The 'Family Album' is a collection of stills taken by Tony's HUD, photographs by the team themselves and the general public, news items, and even a couple of voice clips recorded over the comms.

"How did you put this together?" Steve asks in wonderment.

Tony shrugs. "Mostly JARVIS."

Steve pauses as he looks over a few of the images. "Why did you put this together?"

Tony winces. 

"Tony."

"Fine, just... bear in mind I'm fine now, okay?" Tony says. He turns his own attention to the album and licks his lips. "So a few years ago Pepper got hit with this tech virus. Made her all glowy and hot, in ways even Pepper isn't usually glowy or hot. I found a cure and in the process, figured out how to manipulate it, make it safe. So I used it on myself so I could have the reactor removed."

"Right," Steve says slowly, because he remembers being told about something similar in his own world.

"But at the time, you and I were fighting about the usual stuff, plus me being a breakable human who shouldn't taunt terrorists and I got a little carried away in the redesign," Tony explains. "The stuff I shot up with was barely even the same virus, and it hadn't been tested. So when it started messing with my brain, I may have got a little worried about... possible dementia. Or brain damage. Or death."

Steve opens his mouth. Closes it again.

"So yeah, I put this together in case it was me that got the iffy memory, and then I just kept it going because why not?" Tony concludes.

"You shot yourself up with an untested virus?" Steve says.

"That's about the gist of it, yeah," Tony confirms.

"And your Steve?"

"Went a little crazy until we realised it was actually improving my brain and not scrambling it. Then he ripped me several new ones and got JARVIS to agree to block my workshop access unless I was supervised for the next two weeks." 

Steve shakes his head and says nothing. 

"But I'm fine! No ill effects!" Tony says cheerily, arms splayed wide. "I might actually make it into my low hundreds now, when before... well, let's just say I wasn't about to break any longevity records."

"And that's supposed to make it okay that you risked your life for no good reason?" Steve asks, though he begrudgingly admits, if only to himself, that it is a pretty good result. 

"Oh, like you're one to talk," Tony says dismissively. "Mr. I-signed-up-to-be-injected-with-an-unknown-substance-by-dodgy-government-types. At least I knew what I was injecting myself with."

Steve has to concede that point, though he doesn't have to let Tony know that. "Let's just get back to the album."

Tony grins smugly like he knows he's won the argument. "Sure thing. I think there's a great picture of everyone at the beach somewhere in here. So many abs in one picture, it's unbelievable."

 

The next time Steve wakes up cold and alone from a nightmare, he doesn't have the willpower to stop himself going to Tony. If he has to live in this world for now, then he might as well soak up the benefits, right? Besides, it's not like Tony's made a single move on him since he's been here. It can be platonic. Like last time he shared Tony's bed and comfort. 

When he appears on the threshold, letting light in from the hallway beyond, Tony wakes, squinting towards him silently until he finally crosses into the room and swings the door softly shut behind him. Tony says nothing as Steve buries himself under the covers, just lies back down and slings a warm arm over Steve's torso.

It still isn't easy to fall back to sleep, images of Redskull's face and Thanos's gauntlet and Bucky dying drifting across his mind no matter how hard he tries to dismiss them, but the presence of another human being beside him eases some of the terror the images bring with them and he does eventually slip into the black.

 

Another week and Steve's ready to pull his hair out. They've run out of tests. Tony tries his best to reassure Steve when he voices his frustrations, but no matter how many assurances he gives it doesn't change the reality that no one can figure out what's going on with Steve. Or that, increasingly, the only person who doesn't think it's a memory issue is Steve himself. Tony says he's keeping his mind open, but he's thought there was no world swapping right from the start, for all his help in putting Steve in contact with anyone who might be able to prove otherwise.

"Look, maybe we've been going about this wrong," Tony says, in yet another pointless attempt at making Steve feel better. "Maybe we shouldn't be focusing on the 'what' or the 'how', maybe the 'who' and the 'why' are more important here."

Steve looks up. Strange had said something similar before, and even Thor had speculated on the motive as being important. 

"If we can figure out those things there's a good chance any other questions will get answered along the way," Tony says. "So. Let's draw up our list of suspects again. Maybe have a longer chat about what it is that you remember differently."

That does make Steve grimace. No matter who he's talked to about home, or what the subject of the conversation has been, the comparison is always depressing. Everyone he's talked to about it ends up looking at him like he's crazy for wanting to go back. Maybe he is. 

"We know we're not together in your version of events. We know Thanos won, we know Zemo managed to hammer that wedge in good and proper. What else?" Tony continues, seemingly without needing Steve's input for now. "We'll start from the beginning. What's the first thing you remember after waking up from the ice? No. Wait. Before that. Let's start with the basics. Your parents, childhood. Stuff we can confirm is the same in both versions."

So Steve gives an overview. His illnesses, his parents names and occupations, his mother's death, meeting Bucky, his school career. As far as they can tell there's nothing different there, so they move on to the war. His attempts at joining up, Project Rebirth, the Star Spangled Man performances, the Howlies, Bucky's fall, Peggy, Redskull. 

"Okay, so that pretty much confirms what we already established," Tony says, looking up from where he's confirming Steve's memories with reports and news stories and obituaries. "Whatever's different, it's different from after you woke up. Which means back to my previous question. What's the first thing you remember after waking up from the ice?"

"I was in a hospital room. It was dressed up to look like the forties, but I knew something was off. The radio was playing an old game, and everything smelled wrong," Steve begins. "The nurse came in, and she was just... off. I wondered if I'd been captured, so I made a break for it."

The retelling gets all the way up to Loki and The Battle of New York before Tony stops him.

"Okay, I'm gonna go out on a very arrogant limb here and say this is all gonna be the same right up until you get back from your road trip," Tony says. "Which means whoever and wherefore revolves around us. Me and you."

Steve nods reluctantly. He'd pretty much come to the same conclusion every time he'd tried to do this himself or with a doctor or team member over the past few weeks.

"Keep going," Tony tells him. "We need to be sure. And when you get to post-road trip, don't stop. We need to build up a timeline."

So Steve does. Through SHIELD and Ultron, and The Winter Soldier, and HYDRA, Tony's mouth getting tenser and his eyes getting harder with each new detail. Steve skips the boring days, the months and months of attempted normality, the ins and outs of searching for Bucky, but he relays as much as he can remember about people and significant events. Every mission, every world event, the things he heard about the other Avengers and Tony.

"Let's go over the obvious bad stuff. Compare the damage," Tony suggests. "Who's dead in your world that isn't here, and vice versa. Not a comprehensive list, that'd be pretty impossible what with the Thanos thing, but people you know."

Steve rubs his eyes. "I'd really rather not."

Tony nods and leans back. "What about stuff about your life. Is it just your relationship with me, or do you have different friends here? Did you have other stuff going on back home? A hobby or a volunteering gig, or maybe a girlfriend? Boyfriend?"

Steve shrugs helplessly. "I didn't really have anyone. I..." He glances at Tony and away again before continuing, "I kissed Sharon Carter one time. Sam Wilson? Are we friends here?"

"Sam from the VA up in Washington?" Tony asks, with raised eyebrows. "Sure. I mean, not bestest buddies or anything, but he helped you out with Bucky." He pauses. "You kissed Sharon? Really? Isn't that a little...weird? I mean, she's Peggy's niece, or did you not know that at the time?"

"What about Ant Man?" Steve asks. "I already know Wanda is a no go."

"Wait, Wanda? You were friends with Wanda Maximoff?" Tony says incredulously. "Wow."

"She helped after Ultron," Steve explains. "I don't know exactly how that went down here, but she was a real asset in bringing him down."

Tony flails for words for a second. "Was that before or after she messed with my brain to get me to create him, then worked for him to try to destroy us all?"

"After?" Steve says tentatively. "I don't know if she messed with your head in my world. I never heard anything like that."

"When we got the stone from Loki's sceptre and the Hulk went crazy and you saw Peggy in the forties and everything went to shit?" Tony says. "That happened for you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's safe to say she did the same thing in your version of events. God. Why would you trust her after that? What, did she just say 'oops, sorry, I'll be good now' and you invited her to fight with you?" Tony says. "How did you know it wasn't an act?"

"Her brother died," Steve explains. "Ultron attacked Sokovia and Pietro died. She joined us and helped us take Ultron down. She and Vision have a... had a thing."

"Vision? My Vision had a thing with Maximoff?" Tony says, mock aghast, and Steve wonders if that was the nail in the coffin for his believability.

Then: "How do you have JARVIS if you also have Vision and Ultron?" Steve asks. Not having been overly involved in the creation of any of them, it hadn't occurred to him until now, but... "Why didn't Ultron destroy JARVIS? And how did you make Vision without..." He doesn't know quite how to put what he understands about Vision's creation into words.

"You," Tony says simply.

"What?"

"Or, well, you and Natasha. When Bruce and I first came up with the idea for Ultron, you both insisted that we do any work on quarantined servers," Tony tells him. "I blamed it on you watching Terminator for the first time not long before, but given the alternative I guess I owe Skynet an apology. Ultron only managed to get out after we knew he was a thing. He went after JARVIS, but I managed to get him backed up before Ultron could do too much damage. Vision was made with some of the code left of what Ultron thought were the only copies of Jay."

"You told me about Ultron?" Steve asks.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not sure our relationship could've survived 'Honey I Built an Evil AI in the Basement Without Telling You'," Tony says, like it should be obvious.

Steve doesn't know what to do with that, like a lot of the stuff he learns about this world and this world's Steve and Tony. It's too perfect, too flawless. Sure, Tony still built Ultron, but he did it with Steve's knowledge, and he did it with safeguards in place, and they won and JARVIS didn't get destroyed but Vision still got created, and Wanda and presumably Pietro got locked up but neither of them died and they're safe. It's all neat and tied up and nothing like the messy reality he knows.

"You okay?" Tony asks.

"It's... hard. To think about how things went for you, when I know how they went for me," Steve admits. "That just us being together makes that much difference... it doesn't seem real."

Tony nods. "Maybe it isn't. I mean, from my perspective, this is all real and I'm real. But from yours, how do you know this isn't some weird coma dream?"

The fact that Tony himself raises the idea is confusing to say the least. Why on earth would he suggest that? Maybe it wasn't real and this was Steve's mind trying to tell him that through Tony's image. But that didn't seem quite right.

"Sorry," Tony says. "Not helping. Look, tell me that this version of events doesn't line up. Tell me you and me together wouldn't stop Ultron or Thanos. Pick a detail, any detail that you think is impossible or doesn't make sense."

Steve can't. Unlikely? Yes. Surprising? Definitely. But it does all make a kind of sense. Here, instead of fighting and keeping secrets, Tony and his Steve are partners. He has his doubts over what they've achieved, but who knows? Maybe without the secrets and the division things could have been this way. "How did we fall in love?" He asks. Not because it's impossible or doesn't make sense. As odd as it still seems to Steve, he's already seen how good they can be together here in this world.

Tony doesn't flinch, either taking the question for what it is or ignoring the sting of what was accidentally implied. "Same way anybody does. We spent time together, got to know each other. I gave you a proper introduction to the twenty-first century and thoroughly abused the process. We figured out we were attracted to each other, talked about it, got around to the romantic stuff and the physical stuff. It's not some mystical process."

It wasn't the answer Steve was looking for. He was looking for the reason why this Steve and this Tony gave each other that chance. "But you still fought on the helicarrier?"

Tony's eyes widen in emphasis as he nods. "Oh yeah. Big time. But we parted on civil terms, and you were willing to go sit in a giant doughnut with me when you came back from your road trip, and I made a real effort to only use pop culture references you knew. We got over it. 

Steve swallowed and thought about his own world where even if he gets back and even if Tony's alive, that can't happen. "What about Pepper?"

"Pepper?" Tony holds his gaze for a second, scrutinising. "We didn't stay broken up in your version, did we?"

"You're engaged."

Tony winces. "I can't picture that going well if I'm still fighting space monsters."

 

Steve doesn't so much give up as accept that, for now at least, he's run out of avenues to explore. Either he really does belong in this world, or he's stuck here indefinitely anyway, so he decides to live the life he currently has. He's done it before, when he woke up decades into the future. Maybe he can carve out his own corner in this world, too, after all, most of the hard work has already been done for him.

So he keeps visiting Bucky, and he keeps letting Tony try to romance him, and he takes up all the responsibilities of this world's Steve and he lives.

More weeks pass. Then months. And eventually he's entering his sixth month and he's... settled. 

The strangest part of it all is that he really does feel married to Tony now, but Tony hasn't touched him since the chocolate cake incident. For the last few months it's all been plausibly platonic near-cuddling, supportive words and no-pressure flirting. He sometimes wonders if Tony resents it, or if he's really as okay with it all as he seems. Maybe it's something in the middle. But Tony never lets on if he's frustrated or angry or upset that his physical relationship with his husband has all but disappeared. Instead he laughs at Steve's slip ups, sits quietly with him after his nightmares, and teases him over just about everything. It's not the intense, love-hate, fight and fuck thing Steve had half expected when he first woke up to find himself married to Tony Stark.

Their first argument since Steve's world or memory change comes as a slap in the face of the idyllic relationship Tony's been working so hard to keep going. 

"You're not going out in the field with your brains still half scrambled," Tony says firmly. 

Steve grits his teeth. "I still know how to fight."

"Yeah, sure. But your knowledge of our team and our enemies and our fighting tactics is not all there," Tony argues. "Hell, if the Maximoffs broke out are you going to tell me you'd help us get them locked up again without hesitation?"

Steve glares. He doesn't have an answer. He doesn't know what he'd do if he was facing Wanda across the battle field. He'd stop her from hurting anyone, obviously, but could he let Tony and the Avengers hurt her? Could he let them lock her up?

Tony nods like he's won the argument and moves to go back to the coding upgrades he's been making to the Iron Man suit.

"So don't deploy me against the Maximoffs. Just let me fight with the team against the other threats," Steve says. "You can debrief me before every mission, make sure we're on the same page. I need to be out there!"

"I used to de-brief you before every mission," Tony leers in deflection.

"Tony."

"I said no, Steve. End of," Tony says.

Steve's whole body is clenched, teeth to fists to stomach. "That's not for you to decide. You don't have control over me."

"Actually, I kinda do," Tony tells him. "You're not all there right now, and the doctors would agree with me in a heartbeat. I'm your husband, second in command on the team, and I have power of attorney. If I say you're not going on the field until you're psychologically cleared, then our bosses, our teammates and pretty much everyone who counts will back me up on this."

That's the final straw, and Steve storms off to find something he can punch without leaving permanent damage. He'd almost forgotten for a while there that this Tony Stark is still Tony Stark. Sure, it's a version that has a vested interest in making Steve like and trust him, but at his core he is still the same man. A man Steve can barely tolerate on a good day. A man whose stubbornness and arrogance raise Steve's hackles like nothing else.

When he's as close to worn out as he can ever get in this body, he leaves the mansion for a walk to clear his head. A little way in he finds himself drifting in the direction of the mental health unit and doesn't stop himself. He's held back from bringing any negativity to Bucky's door, and he still hasn't told him he isn't this world's Steve, but he needs his best friend right now.

Bucky takes one look at his face and pulls him in for a gruff hug, hand patting solidly at Steve's back.

"Why did I marry him?" Steve asks aloud, because in all their conversations over the last few months it's become very apparent that a staple for conversation for this world's Steve and Bucky is complaining or gushing about Tony by turns.

Bucky laughs. "Don't ask me. He's a swell guy, but you fellas can tear each other down like nobody's business."

"So why am I still with him?" Steve asks. "Why do I stay married to him?"

"Well, I can't say for sure, but from what you've said, you build each other up the same as you tear each other down," Bucky says, pulling away with an amused smile. "I only ever get to see the fallout of fights so that's the best I can do by way of marriage counselling. But if the pattern holds, you'll be back in here in two days with a grin the size of the moon, acting like you never argued with the guy."

Steve raises a sceptical eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look, I got nothing to do with it. It's you and your crazy husband," Bucky protests. "So did you come here to complain or to take your mind off it?"

Steve thinks over his options for a moment. He can't really complain about Tony benching him without letting Bucky know why Tony is benching him. Distraction it is. "What is there to do around here?"

Bucky pats him on the shoulder with a wry grin and heads for a bookshelf full of board games. "They took away Monopoly, too much fighting, but there's a couple of games left that aren't a total loss."

 

 

Tony finds him in the kitchen at breakfast the next day, looking drained and a little sheepish. "You didn't come make up before bed. I forgot you didn't know we do that."

"Make up?" Steve asks, monotone. He takes another bite of his breakfast. He has nothing to say to Tony until he takes him off the bench.

"Yeah," Tony says. "Never go to bed angry thing. Either one of us could die at any given moment, so not a good idea to stay mad at each other for very long. Plus, being mad at you kinda sucks, and you being mad at me sucks even more."

"I can't live my life on the bench, Tony," Steve says.

Tony sighs. "Yeah, I know. But I don't know how to get around this one. I won't put the team at risk because you don't like being sidelined. I won't put you at risk, either. I know you can take care of yourself, but there's so much about the way we operate that you just don't know anymore." 

"I can learn," Steve says.

"True enough," Tony admits. 

Steve finally turns away from the breakfast bar to look at Tony properly. "Let me train with the team, read old mission reports. I'll catch up."

Tony smiles tiredly. "And what if you lose it all again? We don't know how your head got scrambled in the first place, there's no way to know if it'll happen again. It could happen in the middle of a battle."

"If that happens then I'll still be me, I'll still know how to fight, how to look after myself and the team, and you can get me off the field as soon as possible," Steve says. Tony seems to be softening and he doesn't want to give him enough time to think himself out of it.

"You said we fought, in your memories," Tony says. "What if you suddenly 'remember' us being enemies again and start fighting me? Or any of the others? What if you 'remember' a world where you never were Captain America?"

Steve shakes his head. "There's no reason to think that'll happen. And if it does, then we'll deal with it. But I can't sit around not living my life because of 'what ifs'."

Tony watches him for a moment, eyes calculating, mind turning almost visibly behind his pensive expression. "Fine. You study up, train with the team, and we'll see where we go from there. But I'm not clearing you until I have reason to think it's safe. I already lost my husband, I can't lose you completely. Can't and won't."

"Thank you," Steve says. He hesitates a moment before deciding that maybe this world's way of doing things isn't so bad, and maybe he should start using it himself. "I don't know if I'll ever be the man you married again, but I hope you know that things are different for me now. I care about you, even if it's not how you want me to."

Tony smiles a little at that and when he speaks his voice is soft, full of pain and painful understanding. "I know. And I won't push. But I'm not giving up, not yet. I know you can feel that way because you did, and it made us both happy, so unless you're dead set against it I'm going to keep trying. If I have to let you go then I need to know that I did everything I could."

The thought of Tony giving up is shockingly sharp, a clenching of Steve's heart that makes him realise that maybe Tony's right. Maybe he can feel that way. The man in front of him is nothing like the one Steve thought he knew. Not necessarily because it's a different world, but maybe because Steve hadn't known the other Tony at all.

"Want to go to dinner?" Steve asks.

Tony's face lights up, though his expression is cautious. "I'd like that."

 

 

The date goes well. Smoother that the other times they've gone out together, because now Steve's invested too. He's the one that asked, and he wants this to work. He wants what the other Steve, or maybe it's the old Steve, had. 

They're walking back from the movie Steve pressed Tony into taking him to, despite Tony's grumblings about having his own home movie theatre in the mansion, and Tony's ripping holes in the plot of the movie in a way that would normally drive Steve up the wall. Instead he laughs at Tony's comments, realises that maybe it's actually a sign that Tony enjoyed the movie, that he's invested enough to care about these stupid little details. 

"Seriously!" Tony finishes, with emphasis.

Steve grins at the fervour in Tony's expression and reaches for his hand. "I liked the movie."

"You would," Tony grumbles, fingers locking all too naturally with Steve's.

"Take me to another one."

Tony looks up at him. "What, right now?"

Steve shakes his head with a laugh. "No. Maybe tomorrow. Or at the weekend."

After a moment of staring down at their joined hands, Tony swings his arm, rocking both their hands with the movement. "Is this you asking me on a second date?"

Steve considers. "This is me asking you on a lot more dates."

Tony grins. "Cool."

"Cool?" Steve asks, incredulous at Tony's use of the word.

"Yeah, you know. Cool. Awesome. Rad," Tony says.

"You're ridiculous."

"Says you," Tony scoffs. 

Steve looks down at their joined hands. He supposes he shouldn't have expected a huge reaction from Tony, and he didn't really, but despite how deceptively easy it feels, it also feels like letting go. Like admitting that maybe this world's Steve is just Steve, and he's already home. He squeezes tighter.

 

Two weeks later when he wakes up in Tony's bed after their usual nightmare support system, Steve stares at Tony without waking him. It's peaceful and comforting. None of the anger or fear or grief is there anymore. Whatever happened back- No. Whatever Steve remembers happening, this Tony didn't have anything to do with it, and even if he was looking at a Tony who did... Well, this world's Bucky just goes to prove that maybe it's more about what Steve did. It's hard to be angry when evidence of Tony being right surrounds him.

And Tony. When he'd first got here, Steve hadn't known how any version of him could marry Tony. Arrogant, vain, flashy Tony. But also, he's discovered, affectionate, dedicated, reasonable Tony, who hasn't pushed him once during this whole ordeal but who has shown him love and support despite his resistance. Tony who hasn't kissed his husband in months, but who hasn't complained or tried to rush anything, who's dated him from scratch as if it's a privilege to do the whole thing over again.

If he's not this world's Steve, which he's no longer sure of, then he wants to be. Husband and all. No reservations. 

Which, of course, means that the next time he wakes up he isn't next to Tony. 

 

Steve looks around at the distressingly few remaining members of his team as they look to him for the next move. He doesn't know. He hasn't thought about how to fix it in weeks, since he stopped entirely believing the whole thing was real. In the end, he says the only thing that makes any sense to him anymore. "We need to find Tony."

The raccoon, Rocket, agrees to ferry Steve off into space after a long argument in which Steve eventually manages to convince him that Tony is their best hope at fixing this. That the man who is with him, Dr. Strange, is their second best shot. Natasha and Thor insist on going with him.

It takes far more convincing to get Pepper to give up access to FRIDAY so they actually have a way to track him down once they're up there. In the end it's Thor who manages it, Pepper having refused to even speak to Natasha, and only talking to Steve long enough to tell him the whole thing is his fault. She doesn't have any reason to dislike Thor, and like the majority of the galaxy, she's easily charmed by him.

"I have promised that we shall not harm Tony," Thor says in warning, clearly having been updated on the new team dynamics by Pepper. 

"We won't," Steve vows. 

Thor nods and turns to smile at Rocket, who came along for the hell of it. "We may depart."

Rocket manages to finagle his ship's sensors to accept input from FRIDAY, who he actually seems to like, and together with knowledge of where a guy called Starlord had thought Thanos would be headed to before the final battle they manage to find Tony. 

It's a space station barely big enough to deserve the name, and Rocket goes to haggle docking fees with the guy in charge, Thor at his heel for intimidation purposes. Apparently around here a raccoon isn't likely to get good prices but a good looking well muscled god helps.  

Steve and Natasha set off immediately to find Tony, carefully ignoring the curious and threatening looks the various aliens on board the station send their way. Natasha somehow blends in seamlessly as always, despite them being the only humans on board. Well, presumably apart from Tony. Steve on the other hand, feels more self-conscious than he has done since the serum.  

They find Tony in the company of a blue and purple...woman, Steve assumes, both going through engineering scraps for parts and arguing over what they should take. The owner of the scraps looks on with the occasional interjection to keep them looking and keep them stacking up parts. The blue woman glares every time he does but doesn't interject.

"Tony," Steve says in relief, seeing the man more or less whole and healthy and alive in front of him. He hadn't let himself dwell too much on the idea that Thanos might have killed this world's Tony, he honestly wouldn't know what to do if that had been the case, but some part of him had been holding his breath until the second he heard Tony's voice arguing over the necessity of a ship part that Steve couldn't even repeat the name of.

Tony freezes.

"We came to bring you home," Natasha says, coming up in front of Steve, probably to lessen Tony's threat perception. "Thor's here, too. Bruce is back home with Pepper."

"And the others?" Tony asks, blank faced.

Natasha's face doesn't move, but Tony must see the answer in it even before she says, "Gone."

Tony nods and goes back to the parts. "Along with half the population of the universe."

Steve feels despair creep over him at the hopelessness and defeat in Tony's voice. After so much time in the other Tony's company, he'd forgotten what that had sounded like. A futurist with no clear vision of a happy future. "We need to fix it."

A twitch at the corner of Tony's mouth that somehow throws bitterness and sarcastic sympathy across the room. "Barnes was among the less fortunate half of the population, right?"

"Yes," Steve says, sees no point in denying it. "But if he wasn't, I'd still be here."

"Why?" Tony asks with genuine curiosity. 

"Because no matter what problems we have, you and I together, we're pretty good at solutions," Steve says confidently. Then softly, "I need you. The whole universe does."

Tony considers. "How'd you know I was alive?"

"We didn't. We had to try anyway," Steve says. "If anyone can fix this, it's you."

The look on Tony's face is heartbreaking. So surprised at Steve's words, so disbelieving. He doesn't speak for what seems like forever. "Nebula knows some things about Thanos, and maybe about the gauntlet. We have what could be optimistically called a plan, but we need to pick up some people."

Steve can't help the broad grin that spread across his face at that. Of course Tony already has a plan. Hopeless or not, it's not in Tony not to try. It's one of the things he lo- One of the reasons Steve had enjoyed being married to the other Tony. The grin drops at the thought at what he's left behind, and the bittersweet thought that if he's here, then that Tony should have his real husband back slips into his head. "Just tell us what you need."

Both Tony and Natasha give him surprised looks at that, and he tries not to feel offended. It's not like he never asked for opinions or options. He was team captain before, he had to have the final say, that didn't mean he didn't listen.

"Well, a ship would be a start," Tony says, tossing a scrap back into a heap of similar, equally trashed looking parts. "Ours kinda crashed into bits of the moon Thanos threw at me.

Steve's eyebrows raise, but he resists the urge to ask about that battle. They have time later. Hopefully.

Nebula keeps digging. 

"We have a ship," Natasha tells them. "It'll be a tight fit, but it should do the job."

"Too many people," Nebula replies, voice rougher, harsher than Steve was expecting. "We also need room to hold someone."

"As in, hold them prisoner?" Steve asks, disturbed. "Who?"

Nebula ignores him in favour of inspecting a part which she seems to find satisfactory.

Tony winces and meets Steve's eye. He raises his chin and shifts his stance as if expecting a fight. "Redskull."

Steve can't fight the way his fists curl and clench, feeling a shudder work its way down his body, slow and cold. "He's dead."

"He isn't," Tony says, eyes flickering to Steve's fists and back again.

"He was on the plane, he picked up the-"

"We know," Nebula interrupts. "He held an infinity stone and he survived. That's why we need him."

"He didn't survive," Steve protests. He can't wrap his head around the idea that Redskull is alive. He doesn't want to. "He touched it and he disappeared. It... vaporised him or something."

"It transported him," Nebula corrects. "I heard the story from Thanos after he retrieved the soulstone for himself, of the wraith with red skin who protected the stone. Iron Man told me who he was when we discussed it."

"He's pretty unique looking," Tony says. "It didn't take much to piece it together when Nebula told me."

Steve closes his eyes for a moment, trying to take some form of reprieve from everything for just a moment. When he opens his eyes, Tony has strategically placed himself closer to an exit, with both Natasha and Nebula between them. It stings. "Why do we need Redskull?"

"We need everyone who's ever held a stone and lived," Tony explains. "Unfortunately there are less people than stones at this point, but we'll just have to try and hope for the best."

Steve nods. "Who else?"

Tony huffs a breath of frustration. "We're not entirely sure. We know Dr. Foster held the reality stone, Loki may well have held the mind stone without the scepter and even if he didn't, that close proximity for-"

"Loki's dead," Steve tells him.

"One, how do you know that? Two, how do you know that? And three, are you sure?" Tony asks. "Because it wouldn't be the first time he faked it. He's pretty good at the whole 'trick' thing, being that he is, you know, the trickster god and all."

"Thor told us," Natasha says. "He sounded pretty sure. Thanos killed him."

Tony still looks sceptical. "Okay, but where would he be if he isn't dead?"

Natasha shrugs. "You'd have to ask Thor."

 

 

"He is dead," Thor says with a mixture of certainty and sorrow.

"Okay, but how do you know for sure?" Tony asks.

Thor furrows his brow. "Thanos had no reason to keep him alive or to lie about it and it was he that felled Loki."

"True," Tony says. "But Loki would have plenty reason to pretend that Thanos managed to off him when he didn't. The whole thing could have been a trick to stop Thanos from actually killing him. You can't say it wouldn't be in character. Did you actually get a good look at the body yourself? Poke it a bit?"

A flicker of hope passes through Thor's expression before vanishing. "I do not know if such a deception would be possible. If it were, then my brother would certainly employ it, but even if he lives, I know not where he would go if not to find me."

Tony pauses. "How would he find you?"

 

 

They track down Redskull easily, and disturbingly, he's only too happy to go with them. Steve's guess is that genocide only appeals to Redskull when he gets to choose who dies.  He's still going to keep more than one eye on the villain though.

"One down," Tony sighs as he sinks into the pilot seat.

"Get out of my seat," Nebula says

Tony pouts. "I want a turn. I've never flown a spaceship before." He stops. "Well, not one that wasn't crashing at the time."

Nebula glares and Tony moves to the co-pilot seat.

Steve opted to be on their ship as they went to find Redskull, while Rocket, Thor and Natasha attempted to lure Loki out of hiding. He knows he couldn't have brought himself to leave Redskull to other people, but he sure wishes he could. "So, where to next?"

"Earth," Tony says. "Pick up Dr. Foster. I know Thor wants to do it, but he's on Loki duty, and if he's around I'll never get to talk science to her."

"Is it important that you do?" Steve asks with a frown. 

Tony shrugs. "Not particularly, but I have to have fun somehow. Especially seeing as I'm not allowed to fly the spaceship. Which is so mean, by the way. I am totally capable of piloting this thing and you won't even let me try."

Nebula doesn't even look at him.

Redskull sits in a containment field Nebula set up, covered in Tony's nanites to prevent him from so much as scratching his nose. Steve still feels the need to look at him every other second to make sure.

"He's not going anywhere," Tony says confidently.

"Don't underestimate him," Steve warns.

Tony puffs out a breath that's nearly a raspberry, lips vibrating together, a clear dismissal of Steve's concerns. "We've fought gods, and the guy who literally destroyed half the universe. Redskull is small fry."

Steve shakes his head but doesn't argue. He knows he won't win Tony around on this one, and even if he did, Tony wouldn't let him know it. Steve can be vigilant enough for the both of them.

 

Once they've picked up Dr. Foster, they don't quite know what to do with themselves. They're still waiting for word from Thor, leaving them with no idea where they should go, and nothing to do until then. Steve doesn't quite expect the painful clench of his heart when Tony says he's going to go see Pepper and let her know he's alright, or how sick he feels when Tony makes a rude joke about catching up with his fiancee. He supposes he should have. 

Earth is still reeling, and Nebula's presence goes either unnoticed or is so far down the list of priorities that no one bothers them. The same probably couldn't be said for Redskull were he among them rather than tied up on the ship with one or more of them taking turns to guard him.

With everything that's happened, Steve is finally welcome in the USA once more, but it's a bitter homecoming. Every street is near empty, all but a few businesses are shut. There's devastation everywhere he looks, from vehicles whose drivers and pilots were the victims of Thanos, to rioting and looting and protesting as people demanded knowledge from a government who didn't have the whole story themselves, to simple neglect as the world came as close to stopping it's spin as it would before its eventual end. 

They did go to New York to collect Dr. Foster as she was there collecting data about the appearance and disappearance of Thanos' minions, but Steve opted to go with Tony to California, where it wasn't so familiar, wasn't quite so painful to see what their failure had caused.

No one but him knew how it could have been. How fully they failed.

It's a bright, sunny day that contrasts with the world around him so harshly that he feels a little sick as he goes on his run. They arrived the night before and he's trying to stick more or less to the routine he's used to, hoping that small feeling of normal will help. It doesn't. He's barely two minutes into his run before he stops to help a family searching the ruins of their home for their dog. Then again for a group of civilians trying to clear the road of debris so the emergency services have better access. Then to help the fire service dig through an office building for survivors.

By the time he takes a break it's well past lunch time, and his body reminds him that effort like he exerts regularly needs equally regular meals. He wants to keep going, the guilt driving him almost to tears as he lifts chunk after chunk of concrete, beam after beam of the building's frame, but the firefighters around him urge him to take a break with steady, grim reassurance that there'll be plenty for him to do later that he'll need his strength for.

He isn't at all surprised to see on the emergency broadcast channel, the only one still currently running with any consistency, saying that S.I is organising emergency power and accommodation for those who need it, power and equipment for the emergency services, and a list of other facilities and resources . It's not a PR piece or a news item, not a story, just an update on where people can get help. For once Steve gives some thought to how much effort that must have taken, how much work Miss Potts and the newly returned Tony must have put into it to get it all up and running so quickly. He wonders if Tony already had contingencies in place for a disaster of this magnitude, and then with the thought is convinced that he did. Tony's been predicting this for a long time. That's what Ultron was all about after all.

Steve wonders for a moment how it would have gone if Ultron had been good. He automatically pictures JARVIS but with Ultron's capabilities, and he can see why the idea appealed so much to Tony and Bruce. 

He gets back to work, of which there is just as much as the firefighters had promised, as soon as the food hits his stomach, and he doesn't stop until Tony appears at his elbow when he grabs a drink of water.  He's moved on from the building by then, now working on car pile ups, on being a living Jaws of Life helping the paramedics get access to injured passengers of cars whose drivers were destroyed or were hit by other cars who had. Tony shouldn't have been able to get so close without Steve noticing, but sometime in the other world he'd become so comfortable with and used to Tony's presence that he lost his wary awareness of the man. Tony being close by was natural, comfortable, not worthy of attention when other things held his focus. Because where else would Tony be?

Steve forces his eyes away from Tony's tired face before he can give himself away. 

"Time to go," Tony tells him.

With a final look around the scene, at the mess nothing can fix if they can't fix it together, Steve nods.

 

Thor, Natasha and Rocket meet them back on Earth with a bigger ship that should hold everybody. Apparently even deposed Kings of Asgard get perks.

Tony greets Thor with a manly hug, and Natasha with a nod before looking at the figure beside Thor. "You're not dead. Colour me shocked and surprised. Who ever would have thunk it?"

"Alright, Stark," Thor orders. "That's enough. Loki has agreed to help us."

"How many times do you think you can pull this fake death thing?" Tony asks, ignoring Thor apart from a friendly pat on the arm. "I mean, do Asgardians not have that fairy tale, or fable, whatever it is, the one with the kid who keeps lying so they let a wolf eat him?"

"That's not quite how that one goes," Steve says, mouth curling into a smile at Tony's antics in a way he wishes it wouldn't. Tony isn't his here. Wasn't in the other world either, really. This one belongs with Pepper, the other with his own counterpart. He's ruined any chance of it being another way.

"Bruce is coming along," Tony says out of the blue, chin jutted up like he's expecting an argument.

Steve blinks. "Does he have the armour?"

Tony blinks right back. "Armour?"

"The Hulkbuster suit," Steve explains. "He's been using it since he's been having... issues summoning the other guy."

"Huh," Tony says. "I dunno, but he's running late so he better be bringing something to the party."

Steve fidgets. There's something he's been wanting to ask and now seems like it might be the time. "Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Rhodes said you have security on the suits so people can't steal them," Steve says. "So only preauthorised people can pilot them."

"Seemed like the thing to do," Tony agrees. "Each suit even has a different list. Pepper can pilot all of them, of course."

Steve nods. As he'd thought. "So you built the Hulkbuster to battle the Hulk and then gave the man who turns into the Hulk piloting access?"

Tony pulls a face. "It seemed polite?"

"Uhuh," Steve says.

"It seemed kinda... I dunno, mean, to build a suit to take the guy down and not give him access. Like I was ganging up on him or something," Tony says.

"And how did he know he had clearance?" Steve asks. He had asked Bruce at the time, but other than a small smile and a shrug he hadn't got an answer.

"He helped me test it out," Tony explains.

"As fascinating as this all is," Loki interrupts. "Don't we have somewhere to be?"

"We're waiting on Bruce," Tony says, slowly, like he's repeating himself to a particularly dense person. "He's running late. Should be here soon."

"I'll load up Redskull," Steve offers, because the speculative glances Natasha and Thor are shooting his way are making him uncomfortable. Also, someone needs to load up Redskull, and Steve wouldn't feel comfortable if it wasn't him. Not that he doesn't trust the others, he just needs to make sure the villain isn't going anywhere.

 

When they face Thanos again he seems... content. Like he really did save the world instead of destroying half of it. He smiles at them benevolently and Nebula twitches. 

The gauntlet is broken, which they'd known thanks to a source of knowledge Nebula refused to reveal, burned out in the surge of power Thanos' apocalypse had required, and Thanos thinks they can't fix anything without it.

"Then hand it over," Tony says casually, like this isn't the being who recently stabbed him through the middle and murdered innumerable people. "What have you got to lose if we can't do anything with it?"

Thanos smiles again, and even Steve has to forcibly repress a shudder. "The gauntlet may be gone, but the stones are still powerful enough that I can't let them fall into the wrong hands. Even if the use of them would kill you."

Tony shrugs. "Some would argue we couldn't do worse than the last guy that had them."

"Tony," Steve warns, and it's supposed to alert the man to Steve's intention to try to take the gauntlet by force, but Tony's irritated face says he didn't take it that way.

"You want to take over the negotiations? Go ahead," Tony snaps. "I'm sure your sheer Captain America-ness will get you anything you want as usual. Try not to move about too much in case you dislodge it though."

In spite of himself Steve can't help but respond. "Dislodge what?"

"The stick up your ass," Tony replies promptly. Steve's almost offended by the laziness of the insult. "Anyway, let's get this show on the road. People Eater, we're not leaving without those stones, and while still very large and..." he waves his hand around at Thanos. "Intimidating? Is that the right word? No, wait. Insane. That's the word I was looking for. You're large and insane, but we got a group of heroes and even a couple of villains here and you don't have power over the gauntlet anymore. I'm willing to bet that handling the stones all at once without it will kill you just as dead as it would anyone else, and we nearly beat you when you control of three at once."

Thanos squares up. "But you didn't."

"Stupid Starlord," Tony pouts. "We totally had you until he messed it all up."

Steve shifts, mind lighting up with suspicion. "That wouldn't have to do with his girlfriend dying, would it?"

Tony blinks. "Well, yeah. But that's no excuse."

Other world's Steve had had to punch one of them out. That's what other Tony had said. Even without him, Tony had got so close to defeating Thanos. And if he hadn't have experienced the other world, Steve probably would have thought the guy was just exaggerating. 

"Are we going to fight or are you going to continue your petty posturing?" Thanos asks.

"Oh, Professor Plum, you underestimate my ability to multi task," Tony replies.

The fights is... Quick. Tony wasn't just posturing with his confidence, and to Thor's obvious surprise they manage to take Thanos down if not easily then efficiently. Maybe it's because his urgency is gone, or maybe it's because he isn't able to control the gems to gain the advantage, or maybe it's that all of them together, Avengers, Guardians and villains, is just too much for one entity to withstand for long. Or maybe, a small voice Steve's trying hard to ignore ever since this world's Tony mentioned Pepper's name, maybe it's because Tony and Steve together, fighting side by side will always win.

Tony wrests the gauntlet from Thanos' hand with a loud noise of satisfaction. "Got you this time!"

Steve watches as Tony, Rocket and Nebula all gather around to pry the stones loose as carefully as they can, arguing over the best way to go about it the whole while. Thor and Loki have crowded around Thanos with a respective frown and smile that somehow manage to convey the same sentiment. Steve isn't sure he wants to know what the two Asgardian royals plan to do to their enemy.

"So, what now?" Steve asks. Tony and Nebula had been suspiciously vague about this part of the plan, and for once Steve hadn't forced the issue, too concerned with trying to gain Tony's trust. It's probably impossible after what they've been through and done to each other, but Steve has to try. Even if he can't have what that other world's Steve has, he has to at least try to get Tony as a friend.

Nebula and Tony exchange glances.

"Well, now it's human gauntlet time," Tony says.

"How will it work?" Steve presses, because he's going to find out one way or the other now and he'd rather he knows what to expect. "Doesn't wielding the stones kill people?"

"Which is why we gathered up the people who've survived it before," Tony says, which, yes, Steve had known that but...

"Only Jane's held a stone for more than a moment directly, and there aren't enough former wielders. There are six stones and only three survivors," Steve points out.

Another exchanged glance between Tony and Nebula. 

Nebula steps forwards. "I have not held one, but I have had exposure to the stones for years. I only need to survive long enough to undo Thanos' work."

A feeling of dread trickles down Steve's spine.

"All in all, if we're acting as a connected gauntlet then we should be able to direct the power through just one person," Tony explains.

"We," Steve echoes hollowly.

Tony nods. "Well, not you."

"What about the fifth stone?" Steve asks.

Nebula traces her fingers over the orange coloured stone without touching it. "My sister died to give Thanos his power," she says, seemingly mesmerised by the stone. "I searched every one of Thanos' data stores for a way to bring her back."

"We think she's actually in the stone," Tony adds. "That's how the sacrifice works. Her..." he pulls a face, "soul is sort of interfaced with it."

"She's inside the stone?" Steve repeats, gaining nods in reply. "Alright, but how does that help us?"

"We think once the stones are connected through us, that she'll be able to control it a little. Enough, anyway," Tony says. "With the help of the mind stone."

"You think?" 

"Yes, think. There's none of this that isn't speculation, but it's the best shot we've got if we want our world back," Tony snaps. "Look, we're not asking you to lay across the wire here, we've already got all the volunteers we need. We just needed you for the fighting part."

Steve nods, mind stuttering over the part where one of them has to die. He's bet his right arm that Tony plans on that person being him. He can't let that happen. Tony has Pepper to go home to, a future, a clean energy company that deals with disaster relief that the world desperately needs. 

They circle up, each person to their allocated stone, until Nebula and Tony are left. Nebula doesn't so much as blink when Tony takes the purple stone in the centre, just mildly goes to stand by the green one.

Steve steps forward without even thinking about it. "I'll do it."

Tony glares at him. "Like hell you will."

"I have nothing to lose," Steve argues. "If one of us has to die then-"

"No," Tony interrupts with enough unleashed fury to shut Steve up. "This isn't about me giving a shit about you killing yourself. This is about the fact that whoever is in the middle of this circle gets to control the fate of the known Universe. I don't even really trust myself to do this, but for some reason these other people do."

"Not me," Loki says. "I just don't really care."

"Except Loki," Tony amends.

"I am only entrusting this to you as I have learned to fear the power of the stones," Redskull adds.

Nebula looks ready to say her piece as well, but Tony glares her into submission and continues talking. "Whatever. The point is, I won't let you handle the stones because I don't trust you. I don't trust what you'd use them for. Now, if you want to take someone else's place and let them off without the risk to their lives, go ahead. But I'm in the centre."

It feels like being kicked in the chest. Or maybe like having the shield rammed into it. "Tony..."

"Can someone get him out of here?" Tony asks of those not about to wield a stone. "Or at least make him shut up. I can't afford to be distracted by his self righteous posturing."

Steve clenches his jaw and gives Natasha a helpless look that she seems puzzled by more than anything.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road," Tony says and they all reach for their stones at the same time.

Steve reacts instantly, leaping past the people on the outside of the circle to wrap his hand around Tony's where it grips the stone.  "Together," he insists even as a wide eyed Tony tries to pull away. Maybe all he can do is buy some time, let the stone destroy him first before it gets around to Tony. Maybe he can protect Tony, let himself be the conduit even as Tony has control. Or maybe he'll just die with Tony, which sounds oddly right. That either as enemies or lovers, their end comes as one. Whatever happens, he's not letting Tony do this alone.

The power is tangible as it seeps into Steve's pores and links him to Tony where their hands meet. As it washes over him he deliberately resists any thoughts that could be interpreted as instructions beyond keeping Tony safe, and as he does so, he sees Tony relax. The tingling pressure builds to the point of pain and then keeps going. There's no sign of discomfort on Tony's face though, and that's what's important here. Steve knew the risks when he put his hand over Tony's. If he's truly honest with himself, Steve isn't entirely sure about letting Tony do this, letting him be in control and leaving him to deal with the aftermath, beyond trust in Tony's good intentions Steve is well aware of the difference between intention and reality. But he's fought Tony before, demanded he cede control, tried to take it from him, and it ended with half the universe dead. And if it all goes wrong, well, at least Steve will find comfort in the knowledge that he and Tony both did their best.

The world fades until nothing but the power of the stones remains, and then it's all gone.

"What you did was very brave," a voice tells him.

He has no awareness of his body or even where his eyes are pointed, but there's a green skinned woman filling his vision. Steve's abruptly reminded of Tony, years ago, ranting about green skinned space women and whether Thor knows any.

She smiles at him, and he gets the unbearable impression that her face isn't quite used to smiles. "Sacrificing yourself is hard enough, but letting someone else decide what that sacrifice means? You must trust him a lot."

"Not really," Steve admits.  "Who are you?"

"Gamora."

"Nebula's sister?" Steve asks, though there isn't really anyone else it could be. "I guess you really are in the stone."

Gamora nods. "Hopefully not for much longer."

"Good," Steve says.

"You though..."

"I'm going to die," Steve affirms, though her tone didn't seem to back that up.

"Maybe," she says. "Having been a part of the stones, having died for one of them, I can tell you that isn't certain. Life and death aren't as defined when you have control of the universe."

God no. No. He can't be trapped again. Conscious this time, perhaps forever. He can't even feel his breath quicken, isn't sure he has lungs anymore. "What do you mean?" He asks, and it's really more of a plea for what he's thinking to be untrue. 

"Energy can't be destroyed. It can be dissipated or displaced, but not destroyed. You can't ever go back to our world," Gamora tells him. "I suppose in that way, you have died. You used up all the potential you had in that world, there isn't room for you in it anymore."

"But?" Steve asks.

"But there are other worlds," Gamora says.

Steve's heart, if he still had one, would have stopped at that. "Like... Like alternate universes?"

Gamora smiles again. "Something like that."

 

He nearly crashes his motorcycle.

The city around him is glaring and tall and though it shows clear signs of damage, the damage from the Tony's battle with Thanos' minion on Earth is gone, as is the damage of losing half the population.

Steve pulls over and gathers himself, taking one breath after another as he scans for any sign of where the stones have dumped him. 

His phone rings and he digs it out of his backpack with some difficulty, finding it to be the old flip phone SHIELD first gave him as a stepping stone to the pocket sized computers everyone else was using. He flips it open and answers without checking who's calling. It doesn't matter at this point, anyone that has the number should be able to answer at least some of his questions.

"Captain," Hill's voice comes clear and steady through the line. "We got an alert that you're back in New York. Did you enjoy your vacation?"

Steve fumbles for a moment. "Sorry, but could you tell me the date?"

"October fourth, two-thousand-and-twelve," Hill replies promptly. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," Steve answers numbly.

"Good. When you have the time, we've come up with some options for you for a cover so you don't have to be Captain America in public. We also have a shortlist of possible living accommodations," Hill tells him. "Drop by and we'll go over them."

"Thanks," Steve says. He glances around at the billboards and lights and signs, his eye catching on an advertisement for the new solar powered Stark Phone charging port. "Do you have a direct number for Tony Stark?"

Tony did give him a number to reach him on after the Chitauri invasion, if this world holds true to his own up to that point, but it went through Miss Potts before reaching Tony, and Steve would rather not talk to her at the moment.

"Sure," Hill says, the tiniest seed of doubt in her voice. "Use it wisely, he can and will block you from calling it if you piss him off."

Steve memorises the number she recites, then hangs up as politely as he's able with the buzz building under his skin. His thumb hovers above the call button for an interminable amount of time before he can bring himself to press it. And then he waits.

"Yeeello? What can I do for you today Captain?" Tony says as he answers. His voice holds neither the affection of the other world's Tony, nor the resentment of the Tony from Steve's world. It's... refreshing. A new start.

A new start.

That's what this is. Steve thinks about a picture of him and Tony sat in a giant doughnut. "Hi, Tony. I was just wondering if you have time for a coffee? I'm back in New York."

 

 

SIX YEARS LATER

Steve rolls over to find Tony next to him. It never gets old. He wraps his arms around his husband and tries to drift back off.

"Nuh-uh," Tony mumbles into the pillow. "Not fair."

"What isn't?" Steve asks, undeterred in his quest to get as much cuddly skin on skin as he can.

"You," Tony says nonsensically. 

Steve chuckles and noses into Tony's neck.

Tony makes a strangled noise and pulls his face free of the pillow. "Really. I'm starting to enjoy this too much. I know I said I'd take it slow, and no pressure and everything, but there are aspects of this that are beyond my control."

"Take it slow?" Steve asks puzzled into near alertness. 

"Erection, Steve. I have an erection," Tony says. "And if you don't want to be involved with it then you really need to let me go now, because it's getting very involved with you already."

Steve can't imagine a reason why he wouldn't want to be involved with that and expresses this sentiment with his hands.

"You're you again, aren't you?" Tony asks after Steve has proven without a doubt just how much he wanted to be involved with a turned on Tony.

Steve tilts his head to look at Tony lying next to him. "What?"

"You've got your memories back," Tony says.

Steve's heart lurches. He turns to look at the glow of the time, date and weather that JARVIS displays on the window every morning. He's skipped forward in time by months. 

"Steve?" Tony's voice turns concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I..." He looks at Tony. You've got your memories back. He hasn't skipped over those months, he just lived them out of order. "You were right."

"Not that I will ever not love hearing those words, but right about what?" Tony asks.

"Me. I was always your Steve," Steve says, all wonderment. 

"Well duh. I like to think I know my husband from just any old Steve," Tony says with an exaggerated eyeroll.

"Thanks for waiting," Steve tells him. Having lived with Tony as his husband for two years, he can't imagine what it must have been like for Tony, dealing with the him that arrived here straight from hell, not having his husband for months.

Tony pulls a face. "Waiting?"

"For me."

Another eyeroll. "I thought we already established that you were never gone."

"You know what I mean," Steve says and kisses his husband, not letting up long enough for Tony to derail the sappy moment.

"Coffee," Tony says decisively when they finally stop.

Steve laughs and gets out of bed. Getting the coffee is the least he can do. "I'd have thought you'd be more excited that I got my memories back."

"I am. I'm very, very excited. Extremely excited," Tony argues. "And once I've had coffee I will prove just how excited I am."

"Then I'd better get you that coffee ASAP," Steve says, mock serious. He heads for the door.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"You gonna tell me what happened?"

Steve freezes with his hand on the door. He really doesn't want to. But this time around he knows better than to keep secrets, knows better than to think Tony can't handle the truth or that they won't figure it out together. "Yeah, of course. After coffee."

"After coffee," Tony agrees easily and without a hint of doubt.

 

SOMEWHERE ELSE

Tony wakes up to a face full of hair that smells like expensive shampoo. He wraps his arms tighter around his newly wedded wife and tries not to dwell on what it cost to get them here. The world's been set right. That's all that matters.

"Coffee," Pepper croaks, head half buried in the covers.

Tony smiles and kisses her hair before getting out of bed. Getting the coffee is the least he can do.


End file.
